Judge Reports for Jury Duty

Judge Thomas Fuselier of Louisiana’s 13th Judicial District was summoned to report for jury duty. He just walked across the hall to the courtroom of the only other judge in the 13th Judicial District, where the trial of a couple accused of killing and then dismembering a Texas couple will take place.

The judge handled his courtroom matters before walking across the hall to his colleague's courtroom. Judge Larry Vidrine offered to excuse his fellow judge, but Fuselier refused.

"I ask people to show up for jury duty, and I will do the same," he said.

According to the AP story, the judge was not selected to serve on the jury.

Judge Reports for Jury Duty

Judge Thomas Fuselier of Louisiana’s 13th Judicial District was summoned to report for jury duty. He just walked across the hall to the courtroom of the only other judge in the 13th Judicial District, where the trial of a couple accused of killing and then dismembering a Texas couple will take place.

The judge handled his courtroom matters before walking across the hall to his colleague's courtroom. Judge Larry Vidrine offered to excuse his fellow judge, but Fuselier refused.

"I ask people to show up for jury duty, and I will do the same," he said.

According to the AP story, the judge was not selected to serve on the jury.

It's O.K. ... we're actually Irish ourselves

There's a German, Scotsman and Irishman at a bar after work. Each has a full pint. 3 flies buzz into the bar and all of a sudden land in each of their beers. The German is fuming mad - "No way I drink this! Disgusting!" as he pushes the pint away.The Scotsman thinks for a minute, "ach, it ain't that bad. Ye jist pull oot the wee nipper like this...there ya go, fine as dandy." and proceeds to take a swig.The Irishmen is also mad, he plucks the fly out by its wings, holds it over the pint and yells, "Spit it out ya Bastard, spit it out!!!"

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Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three.

Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: “Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!”

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin.""Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '65." "This is unbelievable!," the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '65, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?," he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."

Dan Rather's last BIG SCOOP 

With the departure of Dan Rather, CBS News seeks to improve its credibility... 

What Goes Around, Comes Around

Received this in an e-mail. Does anybody out there know if this is a true story? No time today to look it up!

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer.

At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family hovel.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.

"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of."

And that he did. Farmer Fleming's son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

Years afterward, the same nobleman's son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill.
His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

UPDATE: From the responsible party at PLANET MORON comes word that this is NOT a true story:

Unfortunately those things are almost always too good to be true!http://www.breakthechain.org/exclusives/fleming.html This is a great site for checking these things.

PLANET MORON, by the way, is definitely worth a few minutes of your time for a visit.

Globalization

Received in an e-mail:

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, riding in a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi,on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates' technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, shipped by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen and trucked to you by Mexicans.

That, my friends, is Globalization

if YOU ran social security it would be an illegal pyramid scheme

Also posted at GeoBandy

If you ran an investment program structured the way Social Security is, you would end up in prison for running a fraudulent – and illegal – PYRAMID SCHEME.

Whether you are a fanatical Bush-hater or a Bush supporter, whether you are a leftist or a right-wing extremist, whether you support or oppose private accounts, IF YOU ARE SMARTER THAN MY FREAKIN’ TOASTER YOU HAVE GOT TO BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT THAT SOCIAL SECURITY, AS IT STANDS, IS A TRAIN WRECK WAITING TO HAPPEN…and it won’t wait much longer.

I have previously written here and here, among other spots around the web, in support of Social Security reform. I’m in favor of partial privatization, and the sooner the better. But while it is a step in the right direction, private accounts as proposed by President Bush will not solve the problem because the proposal does not go far enough. The “head in the sand, there’s no problem” Democrats are full of crap and they know it. So are the Republicans who tout the proposals as a solution to the problem.

The politicians, of all colors, varieties, and flavors, WANT you to believe that this is very complex and technical…so they can play around and come up with some “solution” so complicated that YOU will never understand it. Or understand how they are taking you to the cleaners to pay for their brother-in-law’s government contract to paint the trash cans in downtown Podunk Center, out of the proceeds of which his painting company can make a nice contribution to the re-election campaign.

Let me say this one more time for the younger viewers out there: it is not rocket science. It is not even complicated. When the baby boomers retire, either the system will collapse or the retirement age and the social security payroll tax will both skyrocket. Period. We can play games all day long with actuarial charts and fiscal projections, but the fact is if the Social Security scam were being operated by anyone other than the government it would be illegal.

Social Security as it now exists is nothing more than a Ponzi scheme (named for the guy who invented it, and went to prison for fraud), also known as a pyramid scheme. It works like this: I solicit investors by promising them a return on their investment, a profit so to speak. And they are happy investors because they make money. They make money because I pay them with the money I collect from subsequent investors, whom I then pay out of the money I collect from subsequent investors, who invest because they can see that the previous investors are making money. Get it?

It works great, until I get greedy and take too big a cut for myself, or I don’t find enough new investors to keep paying all the previous investors. At that point, when those who are expecting to collect are too numerous for me to pay out of money collected from new investors, the system collapses.

Social Security works exactly the same way. People collecting today are being paid out of the taxes collected from people who are paying in today. But when the baby boomers retire, there will not be enough folks paying in to continue to finance those taking benefits out.At that point, and most estimates say it will be around 2040, the system would collapse. Except the politicians who long ago looted the “trust fund” of all actual cash (took too big a cut for themselves – remember the trash-can painting contract), and who have manipulated the system to curry support (buy votes from an aging electorate), can’t possibly let that happen. So benefits will begin to decrease, and taxes and the retirement age will increase.

Long before that point, most estimates say around 2018 or 2020, the system will begin paying out more than it takes in. Those collecting will no longer be paid by the taxes of those paying in. Additional money will be either taken from other programs or, more likely, new and ingenious federal taxes will begin to appear to generate cash. National sales tax, anyone? The only other alternative will be to begin raising the retirement age and the Social Security payroll tax at that point, not waiting until the system actually goes bankrupt.

I was for privatization when Reagan proposed it in the ‘80’s. I was for reform when Clinton supported the idea and talked about the "looming crisis" in the 90’s. And I’m for it now, when Bush supports it. But to really solve the problem, partial privatization is not the answer. The system must be phased out, those already dependent have to get a reasonable level of security (although indexing to wages rather than the cost of living is nuts and must be changed), and no new “investors” can be allowed to enter the system. Take a look at what Chile did. Look at what Slovakia has done, phasing out the welfare state that was communism.

It’s time to abolish the Ponzi scheme and move to a system that represents actual investment. I’ll leave it to the rocket scientists and actuarials to work out the details.

We're in more trouble than we thought...

Received in an E-mail:

WE'RE IN MORE TROUBLE THAN WE THOUGHT!

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?" When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, (and has for some time), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff" . . . She also votes!

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I just said, "Uh, Pacific" . . . He also votes!

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving." ... She also votes!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk . . . My sister also votes!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount . . . He also votes!

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. ... My friend also votes!

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?" . . She also votes!

Greenspan Calls for Social Security Reform

Originally posted at GeoBandy:

As I have previously argued on this blog and elsewhere, the Social Security problem is real, and serious, and doing nothing is just not an option. But you don’t have to take my word for it. You could just ask Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan, as reported in USA TODAY:

Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan urged Congress Wednesday to move quickly to fix financing problems in Social Security and Medicare, arguing that delay will only make the country's budget problems more severe.

"The one certainty is that the resolution of the nation's unprecedented demographic challenge will require hard choices and that the future performance of the economy will depend on those choices," Greenspan told the House Budget Committee.

Not only does Greenspan’s position support the argument, repeatedly made at this site, that the demographics demand action, but he also argues, as has this site, that the private accounts endorsed by President Bush are a good idea, but only a start:

He again endorsed the key part of President Bush's Social Security plan, to set up private accounts, but he stressed that much more needed to be done to put the giant retirement program and Medicare, which he said faced even more severe financial strains, on a more sound footing.

DO NOT LISTEN to the “head-in-the-sand, no problem” liberals like Dennis Kucinich. They are full of crap, and they know it. They just hope you don’t know it. They are playing political games with our future…and our children’s future. CONTACT your congressional representatives and senators…demand that action be taken on Social Security reform.